Enough Happiness to Go Around
Courtesy of Heather
This is a post about jealousy, a post about building one another up instead of acting from a place of insecurity. It is not a post about how to be less jealous or how to deal with bullying. It’s a reminder of what you were taught long ago – treat others how you want to be treated.
This post is about a story from my life. I am not the lead character, but it impacted who I am and why female relationships are fascinating and important to me.
When I was eight or nine years old my three older sisters were in high school and college. One sister found herself the target of extreme bullying, although back in the late 80s I believe it was just called being mean. All my sisters are beautiful. I’m not going to fake modesty and pretend that they aren’t fabulous. This sister was smart, pretty, nice, had an older football playing boyfriend; she was a cheerleader and a dancer. Sadly, she had no real female friends.
One day my family found a sign on their front lawn. Before the internet people had to get creative with their bullying. The sign said ‘House of Whores’ and listed the names of all of the females in my house, including my mom. Including nine year-old me. I didn’t see the sign or know what the words meant, but I knew what was going on. I also knew what was going on when a year or two later this same sister came home with a broken nose, her face smashed by other girls at a school-sponsored dance.
I wish relationships between females were less complicated.
I am grateful for my sisters because I am able to learn from them as women judgment and jealousy free. I am happy without qualification for their successes. Sometimes I’ve wanted what they have, but my pure joy for them outweighs any thoughts of envy. Not all female relationships are like this, but I wish they could be.
I don’t expect to fix it on my own, but I can share what I remind myself about from time to time. You can be a powerful, strong, smart, funny, interesting and successful female (or male). You can disagree and critique. You can be unique. You can be all of these things without tearing someone else down.There is more than enough happiness to go around.
Instead of being a flower cutter, make someone feel wonderful today. And if you can’t do that, at least leave them alone.
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that is a really important lesson for young girls especially. I remember that light bulb slowing coming on throughout high school… Just be NICE!
Btw, John Lennon’s Imagine came on pandora while I was reading this. Perfect! Haha
I really hope that happens soon at my high school…but hey, it starts with me, doesn’t it? It’s hard to feel like I’m making a difference sometimes, though. I feel like a lot of people at my school just let ignorance and close-mindedness control their actions and words. Why can’t they just be nice?!
Imagine is absolutely a wonderful song relating to this post and in general, what Operation Beautiful stands for. We CAN change the world.
The new “formspring” website brings about a lot of bullying, especially for high school aged girls. It breaks my heart reading some of the anonymous hate messages that girls leave for each other. High school can be torture for many teenagers, and formspring is definitely not helping boost their self confidence. However, I’ve decided to go against the flow of formspring. I have been leaving anonymous messages for people on formspring telling them how beautiful they really are. It makes them feel good and me feel good. Making the world a beautiful place, one beautiful woman at a time. Rock on ladies
I love spreading the OB message on formspring!
wow, that’s terrible!
people need to realise, that there really is enough happiness to go around !
As a christian, it makes me really happy to see this many good hearted people going out of their way to help others. Middle/High school really is hell on earth. It truly is torture to make young teens have to go through so much pain. Its cruel, and I wish I could help everyone in this world get past their pain, but alas, i cannot. Hovever, when we all join together, we can make a difference. All of you in operation beautiful are what give this world hope, that maybe everyone can walk together, and not hurt and scar each other. I know God is very happy with you all, and i give my sincerest thanks to all of you in operation beautiful. And bless you, caitlin.
today at school one of my “best friends” called me out in front of a huge group of people including my boyfriend on something i didnt even do. i was mortified. i just walked away and cried, now im getting texts from people telling me that im a wuss and cant stand up for my self. and there right, i have no back bone whatsoever, and it makes me sick to think that i let people walk all over me/
If it makes you feel better I think you did the right thing! You didn’t stoop to her level. You don’t want to let her walk all over you, of course, so maybe you can talk to her about it privately and tell you how you feel?
I think what you did was good. It was better than to lash out and scream, because I know thats what I would do. My temper is really bad, and having no backbone is better than having a hot head. Its okay, you did the right thing to walk away. You are above them, so they cant walk all over you even if it feels that way.
I learned yesterday what I want to be remembered as/for after I am gone. I wnt to be remembered for making many differences in many lives. Then today I walked into the bathroom at school and saw a post-it sayign “Your a beautiful woman” with this website on it. It made me realize I can make a difference. I can’t wait to go to my life group this week to tell them what I learned