Enough Happiness to Go Around

Courtesy of Heather

This is a post about jealousy, a post about building one another up instead of acting  from a place of insecurity. It is not a post about how to be less jealous or how to deal with bullying. It’s a reminder of what you were taught long ago – treat others how you want to be treated.

This post is about a story from my life. I am not the lead character, but it impacted who I am and why female relationships are fascinating and important to me.

When I was eight or nine years old my three older sisters were in high school and college. One sister found herself the target of extreme bullying, although back in the late 80s I believe it was just called being mean. All my sisters are beautiful.  I’m not going to fake modesty and pretend that they aren’t fabulous. This sister was smart, pretty, nice, had an older football playing boyfriend; she was a cheerleader and a dancer. Sadly, she had no real female friends.

One day my family found a sign on their front lawn. Before the internet people had to get creative with their bullying. The sign said ‘House of Whores’  and listed the names of all of the females in my house, including my mom. Including nine year-old me. I didn’t see the sign or know what the words meant, but I knew what was going on. I also knew what was going on when a year or two later this same sister came home with a broken nose, her face smashed by other girls at a school-sponsored dance.

I wish relationships between females were less complicated.

I am grateful for my sisters because I am able to learn from them as women judgment and jealousy free. I am happy without qualification for their successes.  Sometimes I’ve wanted what they have, but my pure joy for them outweighs any thoughts of envy. Not all female relationships are like this, but I wish they could be.

I don’t expect to fix it on my own, but I can share what I remind myself about from time to time. You can be a powerful, strong, smart, funny, interesting and successful female (or male).  You can disagree and critique. You can be unique. You can be all of these things without tearing someone else down.There is more than enough happiness to go around.

Instead of being a flower cutter, make someone feel wonderful today. And if you can’t do that, at least leave them alone.

This post was originally published on Hangry Pants.